tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58836153758609715842024-03-04T21:50:47.386-08:00Nat and DC take New YorkNat and DChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01677164259112388211noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5883615375860971584.post-25279808410345837892014-01-06T05:14:00.000-08:002014-01-06T05:14:14.873-08:00New York, New York update (So good we named it twice)<br />
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">I must start off by explaining that the gestation of this
blog post has been similar to Shane Watson’s 2013 UK Ashes tour, plenty of
false starts that sparkle with promise but ultimately peter out. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finally, though, here is an update from the
Land of the Free.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">Back in September, we attended the Global Citizen
Concert in Central Park, with Mandy and Maika.
The purpose of the event was to end global poverty but if I am being honest
that took a back seat as we saw Kings of Leon, John Mayer, Alicia Keys (firming
as the next Mrs Connors) and Stevie Wonder. Natalie, as always, displayed her
popular culture naivety when she asked “Does Stevie Wonder have any other songs
besides I Just Called To Say I Love You?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Her query was answered by most charismatic stage presence I have ever
seen. The only thing that could have improved on the occasion would be if this
occurred:</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">Also in September, I changed jobs and began working at
24 Hour Fitness on 53<sup>rd</sup> and Lexington Avenue – a block away from our
place, which makes the early mornings a tiny bit more bearable. The gym has an
affiliation with Derek Jeter of New York Yankees fame (career salary earnings
in excess of $253 million) and he occasionally visits the club, which creates
mayhem amongst the members. I have been welcomed warmly by the staff and often
referred to as Crocodile Dundee, Killer Croc, Skippy and my favourite Kangaroo
Jack.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My colleagues also tend to go in
for elaborate handshakes upon passing each other include fistbumps and quasi
boy-band routines. Sadly, as Ruiz says, I have white boy disease and I am
generally closer to knocking myself out than I am to appropriately engaging in their
brotherly camaraderie. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">In October, the planets aligned and my little brother
Stephen and his girlfriend Carmel made it across the pond for a ten day stint.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stephen brought with him news of Wagga Wagga
and the cocksure strut of a Hawthorn supporter. He and I wagered on the 2012
AFL Grand Final with the loser having to wear the winning teams commemorative
t-shirt in a series of photos at local landmarks in our respective cities.
Stephen held up his end of the bargain and the photos of him at Robertson Oval
and the Oasis Aquatic Centre in a Swans shirt warmed my heart. He arrived in
New York with a Hawthorn t-shirt and the expectations I would reciprocate. As
you can see from the photo from handover ceremony he will be waiting some time
for this.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">Stephen and Carmel traversed the city, taking in the
sights from the Brooklyn Bridge, increasing their cultural capital with a late
night viewing of the Lion King and enjoying beers on rooftop bars at sunset. If
there were to be a signature image from their time in New York, it would be
Stephen consuming pizza and hotdogs with gusto. Not since Papa Guiseppe has one
man done so much for the humble slice. The effect of his efforts buoyed the local
economy and resulted in our cistern overflowing. I’m not kidding either, let’s
just say it was far from pleasant but nonetheless hilarious – well after the
fact.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">I celebrated my birthday in November by watching the
New York Knicks get beaten like a redheaded stepchild at Madison Square Garden
by the San Antonio Spurs. The dearth of a contest did not take away from the
grandeur of the location and the thrill of seeing such celebrities as Larry
David, Spike Lee and Nelly courtside. Speaking of redheads my good friend Goose
and his wonderful wife Rebecca welcomed into the world Alfie on my
birthday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was really hoping for a
no-holds barred jelly-wrestling match with <a href="http://sidmontonpost.ie/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/stacy-keibler-picture-19.jpg">Stacey Keibler</a>, but this was the
next best thing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">In November, we were lucky enough to score a ticket each
to the hottest Thanksgivukkah in town, at the home of John and Rony. For the
luddites out there, Thanksgivukkah is a cross between Thanksgiving and Hanukkah
– quite an event in these parts. The next such conjoint event will happen in
77, 000 years from now <i>[Ed: True story]</i>, so we were fortunate enough to be guided
through the cultural maze of not one but two traditional US holidays.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The 14-pound turkey (that’s approximately 7kg,
for those playing at home) was deliciously juicy and all attendees made pigs
themselves as expected – but the apple crisps with vanilla ice cream dessert
won hands down. Natalie’s favourite was the delectable pumpkin soup.</span></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">[--Ed: For a full rundown of the gorgeous food at the
event, complete with a downloadable excel spreadsheet of ingredients if you
want to recreate this at home: <a href="http://eatyeats.com/2013/12/16/thanksgivukkah-recap/">http://eatyeats.com/2013/12/16/thanksgivukkah-recap/</a>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">Christmas came and went without a fuss. The separation
of church and state means that work here resumes on Boxing Day, which means
that celebrations were muted in comparison to The Prawn and Cumquat Gin Bacchanal
of 2012 (Richard Taggart and Maggie Connors I am looking at you). We did go and
see Betrayal by Harold Pinter, starring the scorching hot newlyweds, Daniel
Craig and Rachel Weiss. The latest incarnation of Bond was a commanding stage
presence radiating intent and malice, while Weiss dithered between love
interests before being left bereft of love and happiness. Ten thumbs up.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">As we approach our two-year anniversary in New York in
March<i> [Ed: and our three year wedding anniversary!]</i>, our plans are to attempt
to survive another winter (If we had a theme song, the chorus would be Ruiz squealing
“I’m freezing my f*cking face off”). For
my part, I cannot wait to see Lebron James in the flesh on January 10<sup>th</sup>,
where I can only hope to witness him scoring 135 points versus our Brooklyn Nets, like this:</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">We will also be returning to Sydney in late March for
two weeks for Snowdon and Rani’s wedding, Natalie’s Dad’s 60<sup>th</sup>
birthday and my Dad’s 69<sup>th</sup> birthday in Wagga. Can’t wait to see you
all!</span></div>
Nat and DChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03401410831975985471noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5883615375860971584.post-46092051678299259572013-07-31T18:20:00.000-07:002013-07-31T21:00:53.402-07:00Invasion of the Gum Leaf Mafia<style>
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Things have been really heating up in New York over the
summer as the temperature rises and bakes the concrete jungle. The only things
hotter than our apartment at 3.30pm are Carlos Danger’s Instagram account,
Stuart Broad’s outside edge and Henry Cavil’s shirtless scenes in Superman <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">[Ed: Hottie alert!]</i>. The rise in Farenheit has
coincided with the influx of summer visitors at Chez Connors.
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Jane Connors conquered her fear of air travel with the help
of prescription medication and free flowing airline vino to pay us visit in early
June.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her grandiose boast to complete a
Hot Dog Tour of the city both began and ended with a late night visit to the
Shake Shack in Madison Square Park on the night she arrived. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She told me that it was a non-core promise.</div>
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She was most impressed with Carrie’s stoop in the West
Village, the Seinfeld diner in the Upper West Side and the Law and Order steps
at the courthouse downtown. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jane left
her mark on the city as she is possibly the fastest walker ever to have graced
the Big Apple, comfortably outstripping a busy New Yorker's pace with her long
strides and determined attitude. It was like watching Usain Bolt racing pre-schoolers
as she weaved her way down 5<sup>th</sup> Avenue to try on yet another pair of
denim shorts. She fell in love with Williamsburg, Brooklyn, where the hipster,
artsy scene appealed to her gypsy sensibilities. If initial reports are to be
believed, she is already planning a return trip next summer. We'd love to have you back, kiddo.</div>
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Paulie Evans dropped in on us for a week during the Fourth
of July celebrations. Dr. Evans had been mixing with the intelligentsia at a
conference in Rochester, where he will take up residency next year. It will be
great to have a great friend so close to us. He will also help revive our
famous Belmore St rendition of Salt N Peppa’s<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“Push it”, as Natalie’s dancing talents do not lend themselves to hip-hop
vibe that Paulie and I are renowned for. While out and about in Manhattan, he was warmly received at <a href="http://www.eaglenyc.com/index.php">The Eagle</a> ,
where he danced the night away. Paulie was vague on the evening but from his
description I would imagine that the following occurred: </div>
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Paulie also managed to tick an item from his bucket list
when we crossed the Brooklyn Bridge on a scorching hot day. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He fought through his blisters and Ruiz’s shoe
collapsing to complete a journey every bit as epic as Frodo’s to Mordor. In our
defence, we did not have a fellowship of nine assisting in our quest, so I
think ours was definitely the tougher challenge.</div>
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We celebrated Natalie’s 28<sup>th</sup> birthday for the
umpteenth time on the 19<sup>th</sup> of July. The highlight of the day was the
surprise arrival of her sister Tania. Natalie was completely unaware of Tania’s
plans and was speechless to see her standing in our living room/dining
room/hallway /library/etc. The only person I have seen that has come close to
Natalie’s level of incomprehension and incredulity is Shane Watson after the
result of yet another failed DRS lbw review has gone against him. </div>
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Natalie was impressed by my ability to keep mum on Tania’s
visit, as Tania and I had been conspiring for over three months. As I told her,
that was just one of the many secrets that I keep from her. I said that Don
Draper is not just a fashion icon to me, he also is a role model. Natalie then
asked: did that mean she was my second wife and that my entire existence was
based on false premises and an elaborate cover up of an unsavoury past? I must admit that I hate
it when she uses her logic to puncture my fantasies. <i>[Ed: Is my husband the
only one who perpetuates a self delusion that Don Draper is based on him?
Anyone? #headcase]</i></div>
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The Ruiz reunion proved to be a tour de force of cocktail
consumption, with the sisters testing the stamina of the very best of
Manhattan’s bartenders and the limits of their own livers’ regenerative powers<i>.</i> Tania’s non-cocktail
related highlight of her trip was being singled out to be serenaded by a barber shop quartet on
the subway to Brooklyn. Their version of My Girl by the Temptations was
uplifting<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>and capped off a wonderful
week, full of laughter, memories and numerous pisco sours. <i>[Ed: Love you!! xx]</i></div>
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In other news, Natalie’s star continues to rise as she has now been given a
team to oversee as a result of her solid output and winning ways. She has
researched the topic of leadership and management thoroughly and has
established her philosophy on the topic. She talks about KPIs and developing
synergy and a host of other buzz phrases. I have full faith in my wonderful
wife to make a roaring success of this new challenge. However, I don’t think it
will be too long before her true colours emerge and her staff have to deal with
episodes like this: </div>
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Just before signing off, we would like to extend our congratulations to Snowdon and
Rani on their recent engagement. I’m still recovering my sight from the F-Off
diamond Rani was sporting in our Skype chat. Well done on raising the bar. Congrats
and loads of hugs to Rodolphe and Jaqi on the birth of their beautiful
daughter, Gabrielle, we’re over the moon for you! We’d also like to send a get-well
message to my fitness consigliere, Jonathon Andrews, who has been dealing with
some health issues but will soon bounce back to true form. Here’s a photo of us
in happier times to aid your recovery:</div>
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Nat and DChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03401410831975985471noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5883615375860971584.post-50723252631251478492013-05-07T20:18:00.000-07:002013-05-07T20:25:56.440-07:00Manhattan Chronicles (or The time when Nat spoke to Jay-Z for two seconds and wouldn’t shut up about it. Yes, it really happened. Don’t ask.)<style>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">As they say in New York, no
news is good news. Summer has arrived. We have been quietly establishing
ourselves in our new neighbourhood – the aptly named <a href="https://maps.google.com/maps?oe=utf-8&client=firefox-a&q=turtle+bay&ie=UTF-8&hq=&hnear=0x89c258e29b293dbb:0x971e98d1228d637c,Turtle+Bay,+New+York,+NY&gl=us&ei=P7eJUZWtGZTE4APNiYHwCg&ved=0CIEBELYD">Turtle Bay</a>. We are one
block away from the East River, near Roosevelt Island. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">Our building is on a cherry-blossom tree-lined
E52nd St, which is quite close to the United Nations. We are on the same street
as the Consulate General of Thailand, Consulate General of Hungary and the
Austrian Cultural Forum. Also, across the road from us is a Norwegian Church,
which looks suspiciously like a regular apartment building. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">We are in what is known
as a “full-service” building. This means that we have a doorman, whose sole
purpose is to open the door and greet us as we enter and exit the building,
convenient in many regards. In addition to providing smooth passage onto 52<sup>nd</sup>
street, I personally also use the revolving cavalcade of doormen (who are
primarily of Latino extraction) as an excellent opportunity to practice my
Spanish. Jose says that I am improving. </span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=translate+Lalluvia+en+Espa%C3%B1a+se+mantiene+principalmente+en+la+llanura&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&channel=fflb#client=firefox-a&hs=Xyv&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&channel=fflb&q=translate+La+Lluvia+en+Espa%C3%B1a+se+mantiene+principalmente+en+la+llanura&spell=1&sa=X&ei=jL6JUY_5MJT-4AP4ioG4Bw&ved=0CDAQBSgA&bav=on.2,or.r_qf.&bvm=bv.46226182,d.dmg&fp=43cfecfba1265dd7&biw=1440&bih=687">La lluvia en España se mantiene principalmente en la llanura</a>. </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;"></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">We continue to furnish
our apartment, which means more furniture shopping trips. Natalie relishes
every opportunity to compare, examine, and after much deliberation, eventually purchase
lampshades, salad bowls and cushions. Her attitude towards our IKEA visits is
best summarized by this:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/Mm3ypbAbLJ8?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;"> </span>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">Mine is more like this:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/83bmsluWHZc?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">We have ordered a blue tufted couch,
which is still making its way to us from Canada, after 6 weeks in transit. “Any
day now...” Ruiz keeps mumbling to herself. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We still have no curtains or blinds, which
means I happily get to satisfy all of my exhibitionist urges, of which, let’s
be honest, there are many. However, being on the 8<sup>th</sup> floor, we don’t
really fear any spying from nosey neighbours, much to my chagrin. As I tell
Ruiz, I’m just trying to give something back.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">The Connors household will
soon be undergoing a reshuffle as I have recently acquired my American personal
training qualifications. As a result, I officially begin the process of interviewing
for positions. I will be attempting to convince potential employers to hire me
based my outstanding client results, commitment to excellence and my claim that
I invented the chin up. This means that Natalie can no longer expect to have me
fussing over her steak dinner when she returns from a hard day at work. So she
can say goodbye to this:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://starcasm.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Lenny-Kravitz_Interview-Magazine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://starcasm.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Lenny-Kravitz_Interview-Magazine.jpg" width="262" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;"><br /></span></i><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;"><i>(Ed: It is remarkable how
when you cross the Pacific your appearance in photos change. Connors calls it the
Kravitz syndrome. He assures me the research is legit and has been peer
reviewed.</i>)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">As I mentioned, Natalie has
been working very long hours and she spends many a reluctant “networking” night
with her co-workers. Through her new friends, we have been lucky enough to be
introduced to some of the finest refreshment establishments NYC has to offer.
The <a href="http://bathtubginnyc.com/">hidden bar</a>/<a href="http://pdtnyc.com/">speakeasy</a> phenomenon requires all sorts of secret handshakes,
“Get-Smart” style false doors and special rituals to be observed before gaining
access to the most lethal cocktails known to mankind. Often, Nat has come home
“networked” out of her brain, usually in a feisty mood. When I was tardy making
her midnight snack of two-minute noodles, she referred to me as a “shit
particle”. Haven’t made the same mistake again. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">In addition to channeling my
inner Betty Draper and studying for my exam I have utilized my time to view
several documentaries on Netflix. In keeping with my Aspergers tendencies I
will rank my top five:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">5. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1uTIZ_pPKk">Going Big</a></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">The story of the 1984 NBA draft,
where Sam Bowie was selected second ahead of the G.O.A.T., Michael Jordan.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">4.<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbV6knbeUFE"> Jiro Dreams of Sushi</a></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">A compelling story of one
man’s quest for perfection.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">3. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sJiBoqH1Yg">Cocaine Cowboys</a></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">The film explores the rise of
cocaine and resulting crime epidemic that swept Miami, Florida in the 1970s and
1980s.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">2. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFWHNpfjByQ">The Black Power Mixtape 1967-1975</a></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">A chronological approach to
the civil rights movement, the Black Panthers and related phenomenon.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;"></span><br /></div>
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;"></span><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span><b><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">1. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtyY0CXdiNo">Dear Zachary</a></span></b><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;"></span><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">A
beautifully edited tragedy that leaves you emotionally exhausted.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;"> </span> </span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">We are preparing ourselves
for an Australian influx for the summer, highlighted by the visit of Jane
Connors in June. I can only pity the person she is seated next to on the plane
as there would have been calmer passengers on the Hindenberg. Too soon?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">We have been fortunate to
spend time with our good friends Trent and Rebecca who recently had an
extended stay in the States. When I asked Trent what the highlight of his
trip was, he pondered for a second and spoke at length about the various museums he
had visited, concerts he attended and the rich cultural tapestry that weaves
throughout New York. Yet, when ultimately pressed, he answered: “The titties at
burlesque night at Bathtub Gin.” A true Renaissance man!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">Our plans for the summer are as follows:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">I am investigating the possibility of joining a softball team, with the modest aim of hitting every pitch for a home run. Natalie has warned me about hubris, but I said I don't care - I play the ball, not the man.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">Natalie has made no definite plans, as she is waiting to hear from her new imaginary best friend Jay-Z as to what they'll do this summer. She dreams of sipping Grey Goose at the <a href="http://the4040club.com/#">40/40 Club</a> in the VIP section. *shakes head ruefully* I'm not going to be the one to break it to her.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">We want to offer our belated congratulations
to Pachi and Maria Rodriguez on the birth of Nicholas. We are also so proud of
JB and Renee for their most recent addition, Sofia. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Nat and DChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03401410831975985471noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5883615375860971584.post-76666609380450400702013-01-24T18:16:00.002-08:002013-01-24T18:22:56.995-08:00Goodbye Brooklyn, Hello Manhattan<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ruiz and I enjoyed our New York Christmas, although with the
separation of church and state we were reminded that “Happy Holidays” is the
politically correct greeting. Seeking to smooth our passage into Heaven we went
to Christmas Eve midnight mass at our local church in Bed-Stuy. (That's Bedford-Stuyvesant for those playing at home).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The mass featured performances by numerous school children
as they acted out the birth of Christ and performed as a choir of angels, resplendent
in tinsel halos and paper mache wings. Despite their sartorial efforts, the
children’s choir was so inept they could have been used as one of the teaser
ads in Australian Idol, designed to showcase the (hilariously) misguided
ambitions of select hapless contestants. The crowning glory came when three
oversized teenage girls, who had stuffed themselves into white leotards,
performed a liturgical dance for the congregation. This proved too much for
Ruiz who erupted in fits of laughter while the trio of Moby Dicks flailed
around. I nudged her disapprovingly, remarking that this was most inappropriate
behavior for church, until she reminded me of the time I chose to <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=make+it+rain" target="_blank">make it rain</a>
while placing the offering in the collection place. Word.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After our souls were suitably lifted, we were able to enjoy
a typical Brooklyn Christmas. We watched our adopted team, the Brooklyn Nets, lose to the Boston
Celtics. Even a foot long hotdog could not diminish the rage Ruiz had for Avery
Johnson, the Nets’ Head Coach. Ruiz attributed his firing a week later to her
Incan powers (Have you guys seen Apocalypto?). We rounded off the evening of the 25th with
a 7-course degustation at <a href="http://www.greenwichgrill.com/photo.html" target="_blank">Greenwich Grill</a>, a Tokyo-Italian fusion
restaurant in Tribeca. Five stars. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We celebrated the new year with friends, who hosted a dinner
party at their place in Brooklyn. The highlight of the night was an impromptu
worldwide Eurovision contest at the dinner table, featuring guest teams
representing opposing countries such as the USA, Germany, Turkey and the UK. Teams
took turns to pick a song from their country to be judged by the audience. Song
choices from the Temper Trap, Goyte and Empire of the Sun had us well in the
lead. We are proud to report that Australia emerged victorious on the back of a
strategic trade with the UK. We were prepared to classify Kylie Minogue as
British, provided they also took Peter Andre. That sealed their doom and ensured
bragging rights to the Antipodes.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2013 has treated us well so far, with a major milestone
being reached in January. We are finally making the leap of faith from Brooklyn
to the Big League. We have signed a one-year lease for an apartment in the
Upper East Side in Manhattan. The good news is we can now offer you a (cramped, but free) place to stay in Manhattan.
Come and visit! Book early to avoid
disappointment! Also note: Applicants who come bearing gifts can be assured of preferential treatment.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The process for securing an apartment is quite different to
Australia, as you have to earn 45 times the rent per year individually to even
get the application form, and once you do, you are subjected to the infamous “credit
check”. How do you get a good credit rating? You get a credit card! How do you
get a credit card? By having a good credit rating! – you can see where this is
going. Once those (relatively) small hurdles are overcome, you can literally construct a
new wall in the apartment if you like and modify the space to your heart’s
content. We move in on Feb 1. Let the renovations begin.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This new development has sent Ruiz into a decorating frenzy.
She now scours the net for furniture bargains and is obsessed with throws, ottomans,
prints and shelving options. Sadly for me, it has meant several (tedious) trips
to various furniture stores and trekking out to IKEA in Red Hook [<i>Ed: And accompanying temper tantrums from one of us, no points for guessing who...</i>]. On the
upside, the allure of IKEA’s 50 cent hotdogs is not yet lost on me, so I can see
more sodium erythorbrate and pork trimmings in my future as Ruiz attempts to
feather the nest. Photographs to come.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last but not least for this post: Congratulations to my
favourite man-child Nobby and his eternally patient wife Laura, who welcomed
their daughter Poppy into the world on December 24<sup>th</sup>. Nobby’s
breathless description of the birth as “epic” made me smile. Thankfully she
looks like her mother, which bodes well for her chances of future happiness.
Well done, guys!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Nat and DChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01677164259112388211noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5883615375860971584.post-33263426998714847692012-12-22T08:27:00.000-08:002012-12-26T09:30:53.358-08:00White Christmas <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have been lax with the blog updates, which I do apologise
for. We have moved from Bedford-Stuyvesant (Bed-Stuy) to Williamsburg. In
Sydney terms, it is like going from “Mino” (no t needed) to a Newtown-esque
Paddington. Coolly detached, young peacocks strut around flaunting their
plumage of designer flannel, clear spectacles and immaculately groomed beards. This
is mecca for posers, hipsters and tortured artists. Wanker central. Suffice to
say, I love it here and feel a kinship with each one of my post-modern brethren.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As Christmas draws near, I can reflect on six months of ‘properly’
living in the USA. While I would love to wax lyrical about the home of the
free, I have bowed to my OCD tendencies and decided to list my top five pros
and cons of American life.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<h2>
Pros</h2>
<h3>
<o:p></o:p>Food</h3>
</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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Truly New York is the melting pot for cuisine. Ruiz and I
plan to enjoy Christmas dinner at a restaurant called Greenwich Grill, where we will be feasting
upon Italian/Japanese fusion. Classic Christmas fare. The portions are
enormous, all budgets are catered for and they have more options than Ryan
Gosling on RSVP.com. [<i>Ed- While
proofreading this manuscript, Ruiz asked “Is Ryan Gosling on RSVP?” She then
asserted that she needed to use the computer. Pronto.</i>]<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<h3>
Public Transport</h3>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In a city where it seems that no one we know owns a car (sample
size of seven), the subway is the easiest and cheapest way to travel. Sure,
there are drawbacks. The platforms are perilously narrow, commuters draw
dangerously close to the tracks as they navigate the warren of subway
transfers. The underground reeks of piss but the upside balances it out. There
is a non-stop procession of bucket drummers, break dancing crews, barbershop
quartets and general crazies who spice up every ride. The subways are prompt
and reliable. And, where else but New York would this happen? </div>
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<br /></div>
<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/GBvyEGQeHnk" width="560"></iframe>
<br />
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<br />
<h3>
Alcohol</h3>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you want to get hammered, then New York is the place for
you. The low cost, free-pour, seemingly endless happy hours and blatant
disregard for anything close to a RSA policy ensures that a cheap night out can
be had by all and sundry (though your ID will be thoroughly checked, a process
known as being ‘carded’). However, a word of warning: we have underestimated
the potency of this combination, and paid the price. The hangovers that follow
are as welcome as Alan Jones at the next Gillard family reunion. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />
<h3>
People</h3>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The myth of the Ugly American is patently untrue. We have
been constantly amazed by how polite and helpful the seppos have been to us.
Admittedly, they have struggled to decipher my clipped strine, which has
resulted in one disastrous haircut where the opposite of what I requested
occurred. Seriously, I looked like Nudge from Hey Dad…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkSnuOtZajwTGa4xmE848nyk1aJByUT3vNx1jm4CtMcF_VKuS5gBO5QqUwqpDLkXsyM3V95WaVUgQUCW6ZYWFP9tNl73LiKv0aey7WzpgRN6-WuYyr0bCKPS1ZYw3wOjbOv65zNWZRg8TK/s1600/hey.dad.cast.photo.from.ebay+(3).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkSnuOtZajwTGa4xmE848nyk1aJByUT3vNx1jm4CtMcF_VKuS5gBO5QqUwqpDLkXsyM3V95WaVUgQUCW6ZYWFP9tNl73LiKv0aey7WzpgRN6-WuYyr0bCKPS1ZYw3wOjbOv65zNWZRg8TK/s1600/hey.dad.cast.photo.from.ebay+(3).jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
instead of my normal dapper self…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO-Afb_c4M2xlhaz2j7wkfNKyVykxshyphenhyphenCDXOO2p77L63etuybzVkgf7KiEEmG2zQsjUV9Y-TdnfuvYx8UGDBG5WhRrtlK443ghVJAs7-yVE1WSdnfrlRM3kvsK30m3p5se8CL2_hWSf8gb/s1600/250-x-250-don-draper3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO-Afb_c4M2xlhaz2j7wkfNKyVykxshyphenhyphenCDXOO2p77L63etuybzVkgf7KiEEmG2zQsjUV9Y-TdnfuvYx8UGDBG5WhRrtlK443ghVJAs7-yVE1WSdnfrlRM3kvsK30m3p5se8CL2_hWSf8gb/s1600/250-x-250-don-draper3.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The repercussions of not being able to
finish colonizing the New World linger to this day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<h3>
Clothes</h3>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Approximately sixty seconds in any store will make you
realize how much of a rip off shopping in Australia is. The range, quality and
price are second to none. In addition, they cater for larger humans like
myself. Where else but America would a 6”2’ 200lb man be classified as medium?
USA! USA! USA! [fist pumping]. As a self confessed show-pony, the joy of
shopping in New York is only matched by Ruiz honouring my birthday wish to stop
regaling me with her seemingly endless cycle of puzzling dreams. <i>Amazing! Another dream where you are
fighting someone? Please elaborate…<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<h2>
Cons</h2>
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<h3>
Food</h3>
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It seems strange to share top billing on both lists but the
processed nature of the food here is unbelievable. You can get things like
“cheese-like food” and “ham-like food”, which are neither cheese nor ham. The
amount of preservatives and artificial elements included in every food source
means that bread can be left on the counter for two weeks and not spoil. Also
disappointing is the Asian food here which, with the rare exception, is ridiculously
greasy, bland and overpriced. The longings for Cabramatta and Eastwood grow
stronger as the months fly by.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<h3>
Public restrooms</h3>
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In a city of more than 8 million (and that's not even counting the illegal latino contingent), it is amazing that they
have concluded that six public toilets will suffice.<i> </i>Any outing that Ruiz and I undertake involves her asking me “Do
you have to go?” like a deranged kindergarten teacher. I maintain that it is
good training for her for motherhood. She takes the view that I need to eat
less bran. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<h3>
Recycling</h3>
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It seems to be a middle class hobby or a novelty like the
vuvuzuela <i>.</i> If there is one lesson
that the USA can take from Australia is that we are exceptional at finding new
uses for rubbish. Ask Israel Folau of Melbourne Storm, GWS Giants, NSW Waratahs
fame. Shit, we even got Danni Minogue a gig after YTT, it might have been
Australia’s Got Talent but it got her out of the house.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<h3>
Sarcasm and Irony</h3>
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Essentially, they do not play in New York. As a result, I constantly
give the impression of being an arrogant, offensive prick. Ruiz says that
travel reveals your true nature.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Coffee</h3>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
‘Nuff said.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ruiz and I can look back on a whirlwind start to our New
York odyssey with a sense of achievement. In the next month or so we will be braving the Manhattan real-estate circus and looking for apartments. Horror stories are sure to abound. We look forward to sharing them with you in the new year. Merry
Christmas. We are thinking of you all and wish you a wonderful 2013.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
ps: A special congratulations to our cousins Sooz and Leo on the birth of their gorgeous twins Mya and Jimmy. We are so happy for you all! xx</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Nat and DChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01677164259112388211noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5883615375860971584.post-83076265902062632482012-11-01T12:46:00.000-07:002012-11-01T19:03:09.735-07:00Rock me like a hurricane<br />
<br />
Greetings from windswept Brooklyn,<br />
<br />
We have survived the worst of Hurricane Sandy due to a structured plan with an emphasis on routine, logic and higher order thinking. I would take credit for this but Ruiz said that people who know me read this and they would soon realise I was being dishonest.<br />
<br />
The onset of Hurricane Sandy created tension and uncertainty in the Connors household as the closest we had been to a natural disaster was when I allowed Nobby to cut my hair in the summer of 2004. I can only hope the devastation and damage inflicted across the eastern coast of the United States does not surpass the horror that I endured thanks to the uncoordinated flailings of a clueless man.<br />
<br />
Once the gravitas of the situation became clear we sprang into action. Natalie collated important documents, communicated with our families and set about hurricane proofing our place. I was no less pragmatic as I ensured that my workout singlet, hair pomade and latest GQ were within arms length. The storm was upon us in a flash and our main concern were the ten foot glass windows in the living room. Natalie's engineering background came to the fore as she duct taped - nay, "gorilla taped" - the windows into place as we waited for the tempest. In the midst of the storm she calmly worked on an upcoming presentation, while I jeopardised our future by consuming the majority of our food supplies in a frenzy of panic. I am an emotional eater, don't judge me. Thankfully minimal damage was inflicted to property and people in Bed Stuy and Ruiz's claims as the heir-apparent to McGyver appear to be well justified.<br />
<br />
In the week leading up to Hurricane Sandy I decided to give my karma credit a boost by returning to charity work. I selected BARC, a no-kill dog shelter, as my ticket to paradise. I was required to walk dogs that had been abandoned by their owners, the only proviso was that the majority of these dogs would be BIG dogs and generally of the pitbull variety. I think it has been established that "heroic" will never be a shortlisted adjective for my tombstone, so I approached this undertaking with a fair degree of trepidation.<br />
<br />
After completing the necessary paperwork and ignoring the briefing, myself and three other dogooders (see what I did there? don't worry if you don't get it, it's not that clever) were marshalled into an area to receive the first of the two dogs we would walk. I strategically placed myself at the rear of the line and from the commotion behind the door it was a sensible strategy. The first three dogs were a female pitbull, a german shepherd and a mongrel of enormous girth and energy. The trio of dogs tested the strength of their leash and the resolve of their volunteer as they dragged them towards the door and out into the night. I steeled myself for an onslaught of pent up canine energy. I was then presented with a pint-sized, docile, snow white terrier called Lola. As we strolled through Williamsburg, I directed Lola to piss on hipster's fixies (and truth be told I helped her out when she was running low).<br />
<br />
I thought that the organiser must have decided to soften my entry into the experience and the second dog I would walk would obviously be Cujo's older brother. I again waited to see what the dog lottery would spin up for me. The two dogs I saw dragging their walkers outside were a mastiff that would have nudged 100 kilos and a ginger samoyed that I was tempted to lie down on and take a nap on, such was the thickness and lustre of its coat. I braced myself, and this time I was handed Woody, a minature pomeranian. I could see why Woody would be rejected as a dog as I could palm him if I did not feel like walking him. Overall, I felt good about helping two very friendly dogs get some fresh air and I will probably return to assist again.<br />
<br />
Natalie had been getting harrassed on her way to mass for the past fortnight, so I was enlisted as her chaperone to St. John the Baptist Roman Catholic Church on Sunday. The journey was uneventful for Natalie, but my presence has the lightning-rod effect of drawing trouble. I drew the ire of a tough 10-year old who, while walking past holding his mum's hand, menacingly whispered "Run, whiteboy, run!" to me. Thankfully my marathon training had not diminished my fast twitch fibres and we had our choice of pews due to our punctuality.<br />
<br />
The service itself was like nothing I had ever experienced with people testifying whenever the spirit moved them. If I had ever wondered what had happened to the Commodores once Lionel Ritchie left them, I had my answer now. The funky rhythm they were laying down under the guise of the church band ensured that the congregation were nodding their heads to the good book and the phat beats. I know I will return, especially if the pancakes that Natalie promises me for attending keep coming. Man cannot live on bread alone.<br />
<br />
We thank everyone who expressed concern for our wellbeing during the past week. We knew we were going to be ok because as Billy Joel said only the good die young.<br />
<br />
Connors<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Nat and DChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03401410831975985471noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5883615375860971584.post-52655852436361807482012-09-25T13:32:00.001-07:002012-09-25T13:32:23.587-07:00Rochester 2012 Recap
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;"><br />
I have a confession to make, I don't like running.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;">It
seems like an odd thing to say days after completing my first marathon, but I
don't consider myself a runner. I realise that I am runner in the sense that I
have clocked quite a number of kilometres and participated in numerous races,
but I am not a runner in the sense that I glide along and find serenity on the
open road. Running is hard work and will always be a grind for me. I really
admire several of my colleagues who have a rhythmic quality to their running
which is almost hypnotic. They are poetry in motion. They are the kind of
runner I aspire to be but theirs is a state that I believe I will never attain.
Running for me is a challenge, a deeply personal one that provides me with
irrefutable evidence of my progress and effort. You cannot bullshit the clock
or spin the distance you ran. That is running's appeal to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;">Two
days prior to the 2012 Rochester Marathon I reflected on my preparation, which had been designed to ensure I was in the best possible physical condition to complete
26.2 miles. I had run in thirty degree heat with high humidity and in the cold
and rain to prepare for any conditions that may occur on race day. I was
quietly confident, but an unsettling narrative ran through my head. If I did
not reach my targeted time would the race have less value? Would my effort be
diminished if I missed my self-appointed benchmark? My head was spinning with
these thoughts as I strove to stop thinking of others’ successes as the
barometer for mine. Thankfully, I received some wise counsel from one of the
most inspiring women I know, Danila Checchin, who pumped up my tyres with the
right mix of belief and humour. I drew strength from her words and the goodwill
of others.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;">Once
in Rochester, my nerves started to jangle as I saw the top seeds for the race
milling around looking relaxed and confident. The Rochester Marathon is a
qualifying race for the Boston Marathon, which has famously stringent
qualifying standards, hence a number of highly credentialed runners would be
competing. They seemed a different species to me with their greyhound limbs and
loose and easy gait. I collected my number and the volunteer manning the booth inquired
if I had any questions. I asked what was the race record was. Her head jerked
up from the desk as she appraised me - I am a fit man but my physique does not
scream marathoner - and she stumbled over her reply. Admonished, I thanked her
and said "Good to know." The race record was actually broken, just
not by me. I missed breaking the record by a mere two hours and twenty minutes.
Note to self: don’t be afraid to push yourself out of your comfort zone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;">Race
day found me up before the alarm and keen to experience what the day brought. Any
number of criteria can be used to evaluate the health of your relationship with
your wife but an often overlooked one is having your spouse coating your
tree-trunk thighs with Vaseline to prevent chafe at 6am. Natalie's smile and
ever-present laughter relaxed me and allowed me to focus on my race plan and my
two goals: first, to finish the race under my own power, and second, in a time
of 4hrs 30 mins. I resolved to let the race unfold and not to put too much
pressure on myself to attain a time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Over the ten
minute stroll from the hotel to the start line, it became apparent that I would
not overheat as the temperature had not reached double figures; a strong wind swept
the St Andrews Bridge which made finding shelter a priority. These conditions did
not abate throughout the day and prompted the race organisers to provide
complimentary cups of coffee for spectators. A concession that Natalie was
grateful for as she waited for me, she did however remark later that she would
have preferred a cocktail to pass the time. She is nothing if not adaptable.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I took the
time to survey the field and my eye was drawn to a tall, middle-aged Scotsman
decked out in a fetching tartan kilt. He was reveling in the attention he
received for his choice of attire. It prompted a couple of pretty young things
to slink over and ask provocatively “Is anything worn under a Scotsman’s kilt?”
His reply of “Worn? No everything is in perfect working order” had the required
timing and projection to leave everyone in the vicinity in hysterics.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Waiting for
the gun, the cold was starting to grip me and I could feel the pins holding my
right index finger together pulsing, it would take more than half the race to
rid me of that unnerving sensation. Another obstacle to overcome was the ear-shattering
version of the American anthem. The poor girl who provided the rendition must
have been convinced that the untimely demise of Whitney Houston had left a
vacancy in the field of vocal pyrotechnics. The four minutes of warbling she
produced was far more painful than the run itself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I fought the
urge to explode from the start as I knew I would need energy for the latter
stages of the race. I concentrated on running each mile in ten-minute
increments. This was also a preventative measure against hitting the wall. I
was always wary of accelerating too early. I made a conscious decision not to
shadow a pacer as I had trained alone and wanted to face whatever obstacles the
race brought solo. Hitting the wall was my greatest fear as I was unsure if I
would have the resilience to persist through such hardship. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The majority
of the race was run parallel to a canal, which was filled with motley green
water and bordered by dense scrub. Hardly the scenery along the front of the
Opera House. The path was gravel, which made footing treacherous. The hardest
element for me was the lack of spectators. I am a self-confessed show pony who
thrives on an audience for energy and praise. I had to reconcile myself that I
would have to rely on intrinsic motivation to overcome the lows that the race
would bring. This aspect of the race provided me with the most self-satisfaction,
as I feel I fought and won the mental battle with my self-esteem and emerged
the stronger man.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The race
itself was a blur of images and emotions. I began to flag mentally at one stage
and took an idea from Paula Radcliffe. The multiple marathon winner has a
mantra that focuses on her daughter of “I love you Sarah” which she repeats
when she feels overwhelmed. As much as I was loathe to follow the advice of
someone who pulled out of a marathon, while leading, to collapse and piss
herself in a gutter (<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWB2ofa8NZU">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWB2ofa8NZU</a>),
her sentiments rang true for me. I thought of Natalie and the strength that I
draw from her love. Her complete faith and positivity was a key ingredient in
me undertaking this race with so much confidence. This elevated and refocused
me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I must have
been in the fabled "zone" because the finish line loomed up unexpectedly as I turned a
corner and saw the digital timing displays and the spectators flanking the
final stretch. I heard my name and announced while I scanned the crowd for
Natalie. I saw her, dark eyes wide and dancing and that familiar gleam of white
teeth as she smiled and cheered for me. I drew near to her and saw a look of
relief wash over her, as she realized she would not become a widow in
Rochester. I lent over the railing, told her I loved her and kissed her. I then
trotted the last fifty metres to finish the marathon elated.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I have
learnt a great deal from this experience and I am unable to do it justice.
Suffice a message on a tee shirt I saw on the day surmises it perfectly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Be the
moment.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Connors<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Nat and DChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03401410831975985471noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5883615375860971584.post-38969459393547133052012-09-21T16:33:00.004-07:002012-09-21T16:33:41.158-07:00Educating Ruiz<span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Greetings from Brooklyn,</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Exciting news in the Connors household (no, not that news, Mum): Natalie has secured a fantastic position with Thomson Reuters in Times Square. Her role is senior design researcher for the financial and risk division. Natalie explained to me what her role entailed but I must admit I was concentrating on a hilarious commercial on YouTube. As a result we may have to take a trip to Ottawa, Canada to transfer our visas. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">In our quest to increase our cultural capital we ventured to the Museum of the Native American. It was a fascinating day as we were exposed to the music, custom and relics from various tribal backgrounds across the Americas. We were fortunate to see a 2000 year old duck decoy that was made from reeds that was used for hunting by the Cherokee tribe. I was really struck by the Alaskan tribes display. The artwork there was amazing and the detail and intricate carving into ivory had to seen to be believed. There was also a display on the various tribes from Peru. The display was characterised by a plenty of nudity, violent art and barbaric rituals. It really explained a lot about Natalie.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">We also stumbled across the National African Burial Ground Monument in the Financial District. In 1991 during construction of an office block, human remains were discovered. This led to further investigation and the discovery of the remains of an estimated 20,000 African slaves. The political wrangling required to transform the site into a historical, sacred site is detailed and was amazing to the say the least. It is described as their Ellis Island by one notable advocate. One display that reinforced the enormity of the slavery was where there was a 400lb/180kg barrel that you had to push up a ramp to replicate loading a ship. I did it fairly easily and was proud of myself for such a Herculean effort. I was then brought back down to Earth by Natalie who said that at age 35 I would have exceeded a slave's lifespan by five years and that most male slaves would have been doing this from the age of ten. Natalie attempted the task but could not complete it. I wondered why we were receiving such withering looks while Natalie was attempting to move the barrel, and retrospectively me taking off my thong to provide "encouragement" on Natalie's backside was a touch insensitive. I did tell Natalie that I believe in authentic learning experiences.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">We are preparing for the arrivals of our mothers in less than a fortnight which should make for a memorable experience. We are stocking up on blood pressure medication and alcohol. Once we have confirmation from our mothers we will attend to their requirements.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Until next time.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Connors</span>Nat and DChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01677164259112388211noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5883615375860971584.post-11321856410734661682012-09-21T16:32:00.002-07:002012-10-12T21:21:48.332-07:00Bed-Stuy Do or Die<span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Hello Australia,</span><br />
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
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<div style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">
My apologies for being lax with correspondence but I will attempt to update you with our latest adventures. Natalie has settled into work and unsurprisingly is excelling in her role. She is a consultant who works predominantly from home, which poses a problem for her as she enjoys the cut and thrust of office interaction. The upside to this however, is that her work uniform is a sarong and she has chaired meetings in her pjs. Natalie has travelled to meet with clients at various sites such as Orlando, Atlanta and Houston. I keep asking her to return with a souvenir from her travels but she seems to be forgetful about such matters. She assures me that she has an excellent memory, which is all the more perplexing.</div>
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My trouble free life as a trophy husband continues. I am waiting on my work permit to be finalised and it gives me time to pursue my philanthropic bent. My first assignment was in the Brooklyn suburb of Bedford Stuyvesant, an area we have resided in for over a month. The area is gritty and predominantly African American. I went to assist at community food co-op and I could not work out why I was received with such hostility. I milled around the front of the hall with a crew of twenty people ranging in ages from twenty five to seventy. I was ignored which is par for the course if you are white but I was determined to do good. We entered the hall in silence and were given a number from 1 to 4. The rumblings of discontent grew louder as I took mine. I thought we would be divided up into working groups based on the numbers. I was wrong. It turns out that I had entered the line for the soup kitchen and I now was eligible to receive free food and services. I also managed to have an awkward conversation with an elderly lady about whether Jesus played a prominent role in my life. Apparently he does not. I returned home upset as to how my good intentions could be misinterpreted. Natalie assessed the situation. "You turn up to a soup kitchen wearing an Armani watch, Ray-Ban sunglasses and freshly pressed clothes and wonder why people get upset when you take food from them?" I do not think I will return to that particular soup kitchen.</div>
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<div style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">
My search for decent coffee in New York continues unabated. The search has proven to be fruitless as I have been met with subpar offerings and I have been delighted with anything even approaching mediocrity. Anyone who also supports Parramatta would be familiar with those emotions.</div>
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<div style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">
I am coming towards the end of my training program for the Rochester Marathon on September 23rd. I completed 30kms yesterday around Prospect Park, a lush parkland in an upscale part of Brooklyn. I took Natalie along to tend to the drinks and provide support and encouragement. I had mapped a course that was 5kms in distance and I would meet with Natalie to hydrate and give my impressions of the lap just completed. The first four laps passed without incident but by the time I had completed the fifth lap, the temperature was well over thirty degrees and I was really not feeling the famed runner's high. I was hoping for some sympathy and the distinct possibility that we could head home but that was in short supply. Natalie gave me a terse taste of reality and I completed my final lap. If I was not so dehydrated at the end I would have cried, so I had to content myself with crumpling in a heap under a tree. Natalie let lay there for a while but then was moved to come to my aid. Would she hug me? Pour water on my sweaty brow? No, she simply turned me on my side into the recovery position and went back to reading her Penguin classic. Time will tell if Natalie's methods bear fruit.</div>
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We are really enjoying our time in New York and are excited with the prospect of both our mothers visiting for a fortnight, at the same time. I look forward to updating you with our latest triumphs in the near future.</div>
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Connors</div>
Nat and DChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01677164259112388211noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5883615375860971584.post-88031519662620708062012-09-21T16:30:00.003-07:002012-09-21T16:30:49.393-07:00American Domination (Part II)<span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Arrived in one piece. Just.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">I normally enjoy the banality of long haul flying and the self reflection that it brings. The chance to immerse yourself in a book or natter away to the bride are rare luxuries these days. Sadly this opportunity was denied.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">We encountered a prolonged period of turbulence so bad that Natalie actually held my hand as opposed to how it normally plays out. The flight staff ceased service and the inflight entertainment broke down. When it the entertainment resumed it made me pine for the turbulence. Anyone who has willingly chosen to see This means war, John Carter and the Vow need no longer acknowledge me in the street. We are not from the same species. The movies were that bad they made me wish that any of the six infants seated in a four aisle radius would drown out the tripe on the screen.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Sadly my hotline to God seemed to have reconnected after malfunctioning during the tempest. Any maternal tendencies that Dr Ruiz was harboring after be exposed to a seemingly endless </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">supply of calm, beautiful and obedient children from our Sydney </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">escapades were shattered over the trip. At one stage she confided in me that she the remedy </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">for children crying as one of our fellow passengers entered in their third hour of wailing without </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">a break in stride. The veins in her right arm as she clenched her fist and the look in her eye </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">made me glad they choose that moment to switch on the fasten seatbelt sign.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">We did survive and make it to our accommodation in Brooklyn. The welcoming sounds of the police sirens and motherf&cker as a verb, consonant and adjective in every conversation told us we were home. We had a fantastic time in Sydney and thank everyone for making time to see us.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Connors.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">PS Congratulations to our good friends Daniel and Rosie on the birth of their daughter Isabella. At less than a month old she already has a more expansive diet than her Dad and clearly her Mother's good looks. Well done team!</span>Nat and DChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01677164259112388211noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5883615375860971584.post-78465419659281275842012-09-21T16:28:00.002-07:002012-09-21T16:28:53.063-07:00Hello Beantown<span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Hello Australia,</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Due to the overwhelming requests, just Mum actually, I thought that I had better keep everyone abreast on our adventures since my last installment.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">We have moved from the West Village as our generous hosts have become property owners in Brooklyn. We leave behind a suburb where being an urban hipster is at an elite level. Beards, flannel, fixed wheel bikes, displaying your Dostoevsky novel at all times and never removing your sunglasses regardless of weather conditions are a badge of honor. We will miss certain aspects of the Village. It never failed to amuse me with space at such a premium that New Yorkers kept dogs indoors and had two size options for their dogs, enormous or tiny. Great Danes that you could saddle or chihuahuas that can be transported in your purse are common sightings. Natalie will miss access to cable television to indulge her passion for rubbish reality television. How such an obvious intellect can devote three consecutive hours to the Real Housewives or the narrative arc of the Karadashian sisters remains a mystery to me.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">We have entertained various friends from Australia, notably having dinner with my former boss Deni and his wife Lena. Never burn your bridges. I have been corresponding with a K.Rudd from Queensland on the topic but he seems a reluctant student.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">We journeyed to Boston for a few days to see Natalie's college, Boston College, and also toured Harvard where we soaked up some reflected glory from the intelligentsia. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">We attended a Boston Celtics NBA game which was a revelation as I was significantly smaller that every single player on both rosters and seeing them up close made reinforced that. The sheer size of these athletes is breathtaking. Upon settling into our seats and once my nose had stopped bleeding, we were treated to an amazing game of basketball that culminated in a home victory with two seconds to go. However the two highlights stood out and they were not from the court. The national anthem was sung with such passion and fervor by 28,000 people, well maybe 27,998 with two Aussies humming along, that it will remain a moment to remember for some time. The true highlight for me was a half time having the 1962 Celtics championship winning team honored for the fiftieth anniversary of their win. The last player introduced was Bill Russell, 10 NBA championships and generally the only older player regarded in the same echelon as Jordan etc. Quite simply the place went apeshit and the ovation lasted for almost ten minutes. Words cannot do the moment justice.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Yesterday we went to the TriBeCa Film Festival to the premiere of Booker's Place. I would urge everyone to see this movie about a man's courage in the face of institutionalized racism. At the conclusion we were loitering near the exit as the rain was falling quite heavily and Kellan Lutz of Twighlight fame walked past and smiled at Natalie. I did not get the chance to ask for the two hours of my life back after watching his movie Love.Wedding.Marriage. However as he stepped into his blacked out SUV after waving to the screaming hordes and we trudged off in the rain to find the subway, the appeal of vampires has not diminished.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Connors</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">PS It would be remiss of me not to acknowledge my good friend Ronnie Taib. We decided to run the Canberra Marathon together and while one of us chased fortune and glory in the USA, the other kept his word and completed the run in 3 hrs 33mins. You are a better man than me Ronnie. Well done!</span>Nat and DChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01677164259112388211noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5883615375860971584.post-82063094843102534522012-09-21T16:26:00.002-07:002012-09-21T16:26:40.405-07:00First Impressions<span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Hello Australia,</span><br />
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I have decided to update you all with the experiences I have had in my first week in the States.</div>
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1. Coffee in America is shit. I realized that I have been spoilt living in Surry Hills for seven years. The swill that they pass off as coffee should have a Konyesque viral video made about it to raise awareness of this atrocity.</div>
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2. New Yorkers are busy, impatient people. Pausing before entering a doorway or crossing the road immediately brands you as a tourist. I discovered this brutally as a 6''5' 265lbs Africian American woman physically removed from a subway entrance as she wanted to enter before me. I wish I could recreate the moment as Natalie found it hilarious but I would not be able to do it justice, however I have attached link that gives you a visual of the incident <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4FDCbkuaD4">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4FDCbkuaD4</a></div>
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3. There is a clear racial divide. The Latinos are busboys/waiters/cleaners and clearly at the bottom of the food chain. Africian Americans work in retail and do not like to make eye contact. Whitebreads rule the world and are shit scared of the two previous racial groups. Natalie's family made a sound decision to move to Australia rather than the USA.</div>
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4. My accent is essentially indecipherable to 95% to everyone I encounter. I have to round out my vowels so that I sound like a Missouri native, albeit one with a learning difficulty. Those of you familiar with my skill at accents and impressions would realize that this poses no problem for me, the person I am interacting with, not so much. I just tell myself that the stunned look they are giving me is due to my uncanny resemblance to Clark Kent.</div>
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I am off to brave the 40 degrees temperature (approx 5 degrees) and check to see if we were able to win part of the 640 million New York Mega Million Lottery.</div>
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Connors</div>
Nat and DChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01677164259112388211noreply@blogger.com1