Things have been really heating up in New York over the
summer as the temperature rises and bakes the concrete jungle. The only things
hotter than our apartment at 3.30pm are Carlos Danger’s Instagram account,
Stuart Broad’s outside edge and Henry Cavil’s shirtless scenes in Superman [Ed: Hottie alert!]. The rise in Farenheit has
coincided with the influx of summer visitors at Chez Connors.
Jane Connors conquered her fear of air travel with the help
of prescription medication and free flowing airline vino to pay us visit in early
June. Her grandiose boast to complete a
Hot Dog Tour of the city both began and ended with a late night visit to the
Shake Shack in Madison Square Park on the night she arrived. She told me that it was a non-core promise.
She was most impressed with Carrie’s stoop in the West
Village, the Seinfeld diner in the Upper West Side and the Law and Order steps
at the courthouse downtown. Jane left
her mark on the city as she is possibly the fastest walker ever to have graced
the Big Apple, comfortably outstripping a busy New Yorker's pace with her long
strides and determined attitude. It was like watching Usain Bolt racing pre-schoolers
as she weaved her way down 5th Avenue to try on yet another pair of
denim shorts. She fell in love with Williamsburg, Brooklyn, where the hipster,
artsy scene appealed to her gypsy sensibilities. If initial reports are to be
believed, she is already planning a return trip next summer. We'd love to have you back, kiddo.
Paulie Evans dropped in on us for a week during the Fourth
of July celebrations. Dr. Evans had been mixing with the intelligentsia at a
conference in Rochester, where he will take up residency next year. It will be
great to have a great friend so close to us. He will also help revive our
famous Belmore St rendition of Salt N Peppa’s
“Push it”, as Natalie’s dancing talents do not lend themselves to hip-hop
vibe that Paulie and I are renowned for. While out and about in Manhattan, he was warmly received at The Eagle ,
where he danced the night away. Paulie was vague on the evening but from his
description I would imagine that the following occurred:
Paulie also managed to tick an item from his bucket list
when we crossed the Brooklyn Bridge on a scorching hot day. He fought through his blisters and Ruiz’s shoe
collapsing to complete a journey every bit as epic as Frodo’s to Mordor. In our
defence, we did not have a fellowship of nine assisting in our quest, so I
think ours was definitely the tougher challenge.
We celebrated Natalie’s 28th birthday for the
umpteenth time on the 19th of July. The highlight of the day was the
surprise arrival of her sister Tania. Natalie was completely unaware of Tania’s
plans and was speechless to see her standing in our living room/dining
room/hallway /library/etc. The only person I have seen that has come close to
Natalie’s level of incomprehension and incredulity is Shane Watson after the
result of yet another failed DRS lbw review has gone against him.
Natalie was impressed by my ability to keep mum on Tania’s
visit, as Tania and I had been conspiring for over three months. As I told her,
that was just one of the many secrets that I keep from her. I said that Don
Draper is not just a fashion icon to me, he also is a role model. Natalie then
asked: did that mean she was my second wife and that my entire existence was
based on false premises and an elaborate cover up of an unsavoury past? I must admit that I hate
it when she uses her logic to puncture my fantasies. [Ed: Is my husband the
only one who perpetuates a self delusion that Don Draper is based on him?
Anyone? #headcase]
The Ruiz reunion proved to be a tour de force of cocktail
consumption, with the sisters testing the stamina of the very best of
Manhattan’s bartenders and the limits of their own livers’ regenerative powers. Tania’s non-cocktail
related highlight of her trip was being singled out to be serenaded by a barber shop quartet on
the subway to Brooklyn. Their version of My Girl by the Temptations was
uplifting and capped off a wonderful
week, full of laughter, memories and numerous pisco sours. [Ed: Love you!! xx]
In other news, Natalie’s star continues to rise as she has now been given a
team to oversee as a result of her solid output and winning ways. She has
researched the topic of leadership and management thoroughly and has
established her philosophy on the topic. She talks about KPIs and developing
synergy and a host of other buzz phrases. I have full faith in my wonderful
wife to make a roaring success of this new challenge. However, I don’t think it
will be too long before her true colours emerge and her staff have to deal with
episodes like this:
Just before signing off, we would like to extend our congratulations to Snowdon and
Rani on their recent engagement. I’m still recovering my sight from the F-Off
diamond Rani was sporting in our Skype chat. Well done on raising the bar. Congrats
and loads of hugs to Rodolphe and Jaqi on the birth of their beautiful
daughter, Gabrielle, we’re over the moon for you! We’d also like to send a get-well
message to my fitness consigliere, Jonathon Andrews, who has been dealing with
some health issues but will soon bounce back to true form. Here’s a photo of us
in happier times to aid your recovery:
